Member Column

COVID Chronicles—Gift Horses

by Joan Rose

LW contributor

We were recently told by the CDC that we could remove our masks if we were going to be around vaccinated people but must still wear them if we are shopping in stores or if we will be exposed to a crowd of people.

By Mother's Day, my kids and their spouses and significant others were all vaccinated, and we rejoiced by gathering at my house for lunch. Oh, what bliss to talk to them without masks! I have missed their faces and their smiles and laughter so much.

Of course, Mother’s Day always means “get a gift for Mom” to my kids, and I realize that it is getting harder and harder for them to think of gifts for me, since I am bordering on ancient. I have told them that I would be happy with just a greeting card, but each year, they must spend countless hours worrying about this. Some of the gifts they come up with are wonderful, and some are, well, a little outside the box.

My son always tries to find something wonderful for me, and for Mother’s Day, he gave me an instant pot pressure cooker. If I had six kids to feed, this would be something I would use, but it’s just little old me rattling around this house now, and I am getting so that I hate to cook. Sometimes soup and a sandwich constitutes a big dinner for me, and after cooking for a crowd most of my life, I am happy to simplify my cooking habits.

But the instant pot looked intriguing. I opened the huge box and tried to take it out, but it was so heavy that I had to ask my kids to help. They wrestled it out of the box and put it on my cabinet, and there it sat, big and very intimidating. There were approximately 25 bright orange stickers attached to it at various points, informing the owner of the pot that there was great danger from escaping steam, beginning with the words “Never (do this)” and “Be careful (when you do this),” etc. The more I read the stickers, the more I realized that I would probably never use this pot, being overly worried about certain injury or death. A few days went by, and when I glanced at the big black pot residing on my cabinet, it seemed to glare back at me.

Finally, I called my son and explained my reluctance to use it and asked if he could take it back.

I was hoping that he could return it and get a refund, but he chose to keep it and picked it up the next day.

I recently had a birthday, and my grandson got me what he thought was a wonderful gift.

It was an online subscription to a company that would ask me questions throughout the year by e-mail (personal questions), and they would compile my answers and then put them into a book which they would send to me at the end of the year.

I have to tell you that I am a little paranoid when it comes to online scams, and I thought this was very invasive.

I am not going to answer personal questions by email because who knows what the recipients are going to do with the answers? So I deleted the app and told my grandson about my feelings. He was good-natured about it, but I am sure he was not happy that I rejected his gift.

So I hope my kids have learned a lesson this year about giving me gifts. I am advising my family that just a card or a box of chocolates would be very welcome, and they can bet I wouldn’t return them.

On thinking about it, I realized that my mom was the same way at the end of her life. So maybe it is an aging thing, and this reluctance to accept strange gifts comes to us all eventually, along with arthritis and fallen arches.

I know I should be grateful that I have kids who think of me in this way, and I probably shouldn’t reject their gifts.

But being practical, I tend to look the gift horse in the mouth, and this indulgent tendency seems to grow worse as I grow older.

However, I am really looking forward to those chocolates.